For the past year and a half, I’ve posted Yoga Drama’s, Granny Stories, Drunk Book Talk’s, and everything in between. During that time, I’ve gained about 9000 new followers, and I’m sure that at least five of you are really confused and would love some context about who I’m referring to and what the tea is for each person. So, for anyone who follows along but might’ve gotten a little lost, here’s a who’s who of everyone I’ve mentioned so far.
Yoga Drama People
Bucket of Fried Chicken
Bucket might be the most popular and consistent fixture in my Yoga Drama’s. I first saw him when I began practicing at the Hot Yoga studio back in August (2018). He looks like the muscular, bearded version of John Krasinski—which is delicious and charming. I referred to him as Bucket of Fried Chicken because any time someone is attractive, I compare them to my favorite foods. And despite my current health kick, Fried Chicken is my favorite. He’s super kind and straight, and his girlfriend (possibly fiance, who knows) are the best.
Cajun Gravy is Bucket’s girlfriend/possible fiance. I call her Cajun Gravy because I love Cajun Gravy, and I didn’t like that her original identifier was just the girlfriend to a male I compared to poultry. She’s super kind, looks kind of like the red-head from the Black Mirror ‘San Junipero’ episode… Yes; they really are a perfect couple. She’s also a talented artist, from what i’ve noticed. But I also try not to be a stalker because I saw Single White Female and it doesn’t end well for Jennifer Jason Leigh.
The first person I ever gossiped about on Yoga Drama, Fart Lady—yes, that’s just how we’ve come to refer to her—passed gas…THREE TIMES!!! while practicing one day. And no one acknowledged it. Which, lets be real, if you’re new to yoga and all anyone has ever said to you is that farting is a thing we don’t do in public spaces, it can seem a bit shocking. She doesn’t always like me, since I said excuse you (kindly, and only when I didn’t know better) but at this point, it’s all in the past. She still makes random appearances.
While the original yoga studio was having renovations, after that terrible event, I practiced at their other location. On one of my last classes, I sat—before class started—whispering to my friend and yoga buddy (Ashley), and Fake Karen looked over and mouthed, “I wish they would just shut up!” which I found very rude. I almost cried during class, until she stood on her head and I realized that she wasn’t a good person anyway. Although, since then, I’ve done a headstand, so I don’t know what that says about me. We’ll probably see her again eventually.
Tyler is my husband, I refer to him as both. Y’all always want to see more of him, but we’re deeply in competition with each other right now, and I can’t let him outshine me. He’ll have the smallest description.
My Granny is the woman who raised me—off and on—and she even took me home from the hospital. She’s a democrat, was married six times, has three children, and has read the bible every year since 1973. Believe me, I’m just as impressed as anyone. She’s very opinionated and very shady, and she doesn’t tolerate hatred of any kind. She hasn’t always been the easiest, but she’s always been funny. Y’all also seem to like seeing her. I’ll update on her as questions are asked. lol
If you guys have questions about any of the other people I mention, i’ll slowly be adding to this list as time goes on lol. Just let me know!!!